

Will I still have fears? Of course! The difference now is that I will not let it hinder myself from achieving my goals I have set for myself. What I want is to never have to work outside of our home again, so I will continue to work toward that goal. My Dad, being self-employed for 30 years, always told me, “if you want something bad enough, you will figure out a way to get it”. There are so many opportunities ahead that there is no longer room for fear to get in my way. Since I love my job, I will no longer let fear hold me back. If I had let fear hold me back I wouldn’t have been invited three more times in the last two years. This was the first time I worked through my fear. So much so that when I got to the hotel, I paced in my room when I should have been down to the cocktail party. When it was time to go I hadn’t flown in 17 years, let alone flown alone. She probably thought I was out of my mind. So I emailed the pr representative and asked if it was spam. I was sure it was spam because it said I was being invited to LA for The Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3 press event. I didn’t do a lot of things because of fear. But fear kept me hostage I didn’t reach out to companies for ‘fear’ of being turned down. I started watching other bloggers grow, trying to figure out how they did it. This meant I didn’t have to reach out and again I let my fear win.įinally I stumbled upon my domain name. I learned what I needed (I felt) from search engines and I have always joked that Google is my best friend. I never had an issue helping someone else but I wouldn’t ask for help. Fear kept me from reaching out to others. I had missed being home with my kids when they were younger especially my youngest. I didn’t want to go back to working outside of the home. Although I was successful in a couple of my things I burned out within 5 years and I got bored. I won’t go through all of the businesses I did, but I kept looking for the next best thing. When I realized that wasn’t my “thing”, I moved on. Since he didn’t see that potential I turned him down and decided I would help my husband with his daycare in our home. I could run the whole office and I had a rapport with the policyholders. I did interview with the new agent and he didn’t want to pay me what I felt I was worth. I allowed fear to win, and it held me back. I didn’t want to overreach and fall short. I felt I was being reasonable in my expectation of what I would be able to sell in our area. To make a long story shorter I was able months later to ‘try again’, only to be turned down again and be told “I didn’t aim high enough”. I also remember sobbing as he hugged me because I was sure I had what it took. I remember my Dad coming out of his office and saying they wouldn’t allow me to take it over if he retired. I took a test, interviewed with a ‘higher-up’ and then waited. So the day came that I went up to one of their main headquarters. The time came to see if I ‘had what it took’ for the insurance company to approve me. I got all of my licenses to sell the actual insurance, learned all the parts of running the office. I knew eventually my Dad would retire and I wanted to take over his business. My job paid for daycare and health insurance, looking back that kind of sounds silly. More often I came in early and left late.

I didn’t take fake sick days like one of the other secretaries in the office because it was my Dad. I had worked for my father for 8 years in the insurance business, (do not think working for a parent is ‘easier’ than an unrelated boss). Twelve years ago I left working outside the home to working from home. It sits right up there with stress and worry.
